“Through the bogs of St. Edmund, beyond the gaseous wastes,
Lives a hero amongst men but one of expensive tastes,
He dines solely on beans and rich salted prunes, and he holds magic powers,
To which none are immune!
He’s the king’s secret weapon and his Jester to boot,
He has his own castle with vaults full of loot,
The French make no plans to invade this fair isle,
For they fear they’ll meet Roland, they quake rank and file”
Not a conventional start to a review I will admit but then UK fun seekers Jaldaboath with their BlackAdder/Monty Python esque antics are no conventional band. Their new album “The Further Adventures…” marks the bands second full length opus and their first in four years since the 2010 debut “The Rise of the Heraldic Beasts”. As if to throw virgin listeners to the band off of their comic scent the opening to “Roland The Farter” is a serious atmospheric affair for all of about a minute before the lyrics above come into play in the style of a minstrel telling a tale back in the days of jousting, the Knights Templar and warrior monks.
“The Warrior Monks, of WhiteHawk, permitted to kill but not allowed to talk”
Definitely one of the oddest things I’ve listened too… “There’s no way out, you will succumb/to red hot pokers… up the bum”… yet despite all the mirth and merriment Jaldaboath are genuinely good musicians who craft their songs with skill and cunning and lace each track with more than just a few moments of pure comedy! At times though things are just down right bizarre. A casing point of this is the genetic splicing of Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” with… The Eastenders theme tune?? Or “The Bitch of Chiselhurst Caves” which is the bands on unique take, at least in part of Grandmaster Flash and his track “White Lines” which always brings to mind drunken scenes outside the Winchester!
“She’s for hire baby, She’s for hire baby, SHE’S FOR HIRE BABY!!”
“She wants my sausage, she wants his sausage, but she’d better hurry up because there’s only one going”
Other moments of hilarity is “Black Metal Beauty”, a cross between Black Beauty and the latter stages of the BlackAdder series three theme, the utterly bizarre “Father Pig” , as well as the anthem like “DEX The Whispering Dwarf” which sees the return of Roland, and the thoroughly wench-tastic “Raise the Crummhorns”
“The hall is full of royal dames, rich ladies starved and in their bloom, We drunken stately knights in armour gesture obscenely across the room”
To finish though I’d like to be serious for a moment. There are times in everyone’s lives when things take over and you need help just to get though. Do not despair though for I have the solution…
“In 1314, an order of troop-adore knights were sent to Merlin by a military court for a crime they did not commit.
These men promptly escaped from a maximum security military stockade to the UK Metal Underground,
Today, still wanted by the Pope they survive as minstrels of fortune,
If you have a problem, if no one else can help and if you can find them,
Maybe you can hire…